Creating Healthy Family Values

Family values, sometimes called familial norms, are traditional or contemporary cultural values which pertain to the structure, roles, beliefs, opinions, and aspirations of members of a family. These values may be grounded in personal experiences and behaviors from family members who have passed on, or they may be socially established and influenced by the society in which the family lives. Although children can generally make the decision about many things in their lives, such as what school to go to or what friends to spend time with, they should not be guided by family values when it comes to major decisions such as when to get married, whether to have a family, or even if they should have one at all. By allowing children to make these choices themselves, the family can be sued for its teaching of inappropriate behaviors.

However, children do have a basic need to learn and grow. This need is met by the ability to explore, learn, and test those values that have been inculcated in them through their various stages of development. Children may change their fundamental values over time if given the opportunity to do so, or they may choose to ignore or reject something that does not conform to their basic principles. A parent’s consistent support for their child’s self-esteem and their choice to explore, learn, and adapt can help guide their children through this important stage of their life.

Parents can create a family values model that is unique to their own family, which will provide a richer experience for their children. For example, parents can emphasize family values of kindness and acceptance while simultaneously teaching children that there are some bad people and that they should strive to avoid these people. Other ways to create this model would be to spend time together in a supervised activity where children are able to make decisions and learn about consequences. Parents can also take a daily walk together and discuss important family issues. Through a combination of these activities and others that foster meaningful conversations, a parent can instill healthy family values into their children and foster a sense of belonging and community that can last a lifetime.

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